


A Court of Darkness and Stars

by buckyismymainman



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Kidnapping, Mates, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Takes place after ACOTAR, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyismymainman/pseuds/buckyismymainman
Summary: Asterin is Rhysand's long lost sister.  For centuries she has thought to have been died, killed alongside her mother on that fateful day.  The truth of the matter is that she was kidnapped by Spring and remained hidden until after Amarantha's reign.  When she meets Feyre, Asterin finally sees her chance at getting home through Prythian's savior and once again reunited with her family.  But it won't all be happy and smiles as war looms on the horizon and threatens the peace of Prythian.
Relationships: Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of the pungent roses made Asterin want to gag. The blood-red roses were everywhere in the garden mixed sporadically in were pink, peach, white, coral, and yellow. But the red was what really stood out. The roses were the symbol of the Spring Court, and she wanted to destroy them all.

She wanted to rip them up and throw them at the High Lord of Spring, but she had no way of escaping this place. She wasn’t even sure how long she had been here, though she suspected several hundred years had passed since that fateful day when she and her mother had been attacked. She had tried not thinking of it for years, she didn’t want to remember the worst day of her life. Torn away from her family and seeing her mother killed right before her eyes. 

Asterin’s mother’s screams still echoed in her head sometimes when the memories slipped through and came unbidden into her mind. Her mother begged her to run, to fly away as the Spring Court royals descended upon their carriage. She alone had been taken hostage. She thought it was because the High Lord wanted to marry her off to one of his sons, but they had kept her cloistered away in a temple with some priestesses.

Then nearly fifty years ago Amarantha came and she remained hidden while the rest of the world suffered. She wondered how the Night Court had fared, how her brother was doing. Rumors had spread that he was now Amarantha’s whore and she wanted to weep, she wanted to go to him and save him from her. She wanted to fly away, she wanted to touch the sky. Hear the song of the wind as she lifted higher and higher into the air.

No one could know about her wings though. If they knew they would take them from her, and with a dampener on her powers she wasn’t even sure she could reveal what she had hidden all those years ago in the carriage when her mother had begged her to go.

Then Amarantha was destroyed and a girl had been made into High Fae. Feyre Cursebreaker is what they called her.

Asterin could see her now as she worked. The girl looked gaunt and sickly in that stupid pale pink dress that they had forced her in. The Spring Court fashion didn’t suit Feyre at all, Asterin thought. It didn’t suit her either, but at least she wasn’t dressing like the nobility. She was just another servant after all.

But what really caught Asterin’s eye was the tattoo on her left arm. That was Night Court work, that was a deal she had made with Rhys. Whispering had broken out amongst the servants when Feyre had returned. They all knew about the deal she and the High Lord of Night and struck. Asterin had debated going to Feyre and asking her for news on her brother, but she didn’t want to be punished and she wasn’t sure what lies had been spread about Rhys here.

But her brother had his reasons and purposes for everything. She just had to wait and bide her time and maybe she could get out of this--

“Rin,” that sickly sweet voice made her heart freeze in her chest. Asterin cast her eyes upwards toward Ianthe. She was smiling down at her, it was the kind of smile that told Asterin what exactly Ianthe thought of her. “I have a special job for you,” her voice was sickly sweet with just a touch of poison.

Asterin stood and wiped her dirt-covered hands on her pants, “What’s the job?” She was cautious of what the priestess wanted, she had tried hard to fly under the notice of the high borns. She wanted them to forget about her completely, but of course, that was impossible, Tamlin would never forget about her. He knew that if Rhysand knew she was still alive he would level the Spring Court with a single thought.

“Feyre needs a lady in waiting to help her when I cannot be around. I want you to look after her and be there for her,” that smile was becoming more and more forced with each word she spoke. Clearly, she didn’t want Asterin anywhere near Feyre.

Asterin however was thrilled to hear this, “Of course, Ianthe. I would be more than happy to assist Prythian’s savior.” Asterin did want to help Feyre, but she also had ulterior motives for this. If she could grow closer to Feyre and get her to trust her then maybe she could get her to tell her brother that she was trapped in the Spring Court when he came to call in whatever bargain they had struck.

Maybe she could finally go home.

“Go inside and clean yourself up, I’ve had clothes sent to your room for you to wear whenever you are with Feyre,” she sniffed. “Once you’re properly prepared then come back here and I’ll introduce you.”

Asterin bobbed a curtsey at Ianthe and then hurried inside to clean herself up. Once she was safely shut inside her room she released a long breath and smiled, her head tilted back against the door. “Home,” she murmured. “I may be able to go home.”

Glancing in the mirror in her bathroom she noticed some dirt on her cheek and she quickly washed it away and filled the tub to rinse off any dirt, grime, or sweat that was staining her body. The soap she used smelled the closest to her home with its citrus scent. She wondered what Velaris looked like now, if it had remained the same or if there had been changes over the years. She longed to see the Rainbow and hear the music and laughter as she danced through the streets with a certain Illyrian warrior. A pang went through her chest as she remembered those stolen nights as a teenager. Feeling so free and happy.

That was another thought she had long since kept locked away. It made her ache too much and she wasn’t prepared to feel those feelings, to feel the longing in her. 

Once out of the bathtub she made her way to the closet where Ianthe had new dresses placed for her. She went through each of them and scoffed at the pale pinks, greens, purples, and creams. They weren’t her at all. They were too restricting, nothing like the clothes that she and her mother had worn, or the Illyrian leathers that her brother had had made for her when she turned sixteen and officially started her training. But she picked out a soft cream-colored gown with various colored flowers sewn into the skirt and bodice. It was the least ostentatious out of them all. 

She reemerged from her room, her thick black hair hanging down her back in soft waves and pinned back with twin clips of ivory carved to look like roses. She wore no makeup and her feet were in satin slippers that matched the color of her dress. Gliding down the hall she garnered some attention from the servants there. None of them had ever seen her in anything so grand before, she was normally one of them, but not today.

Today she felt closer to her noble heritage as the daughter of a High Lord and sister to Prythian’s most powerful High Lord to ever exist. If they only knew who she truly was she wondered if they would fear her. Would the name Rhysand send them skittering to the darkest corners of the Spring Court manor home? Would a simple gaze from her violet-colored eyes send them cowering as she passed?

Maybe.

But she had never been one for fear. Though she knew the merits of having others be afraid of you. It kept people from testing you unless they were extremely foolish or had a death wish. It was how her father and brother had kept the Night Court safe from prying eyes for all these years. Her ancestors had relied on the fear they sowed, now Rhysand played off it while fostering a different sort of court at home.

Her brother was kind and caring, but he could be scary when he wanted to be.

Ianthe saw Asterin reemerge from the manor and said, “Ah, here she is.” Feyre looked at Asterin and narrowed her eyes as if she was trying to figure out where she had seen her before. “This is Rin, she’s one of the servants here. She’ll be helping you with any daily needs that you may have.”

Asterin curtsied, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Feyre.”

“You too,” Feyre muttered. “I’m sorry you look so much like--”

Ianthe clapped her hands, “I need to take my leave now, there’s so much work to be done before the wedding next week. The two of you get acquainted and I shall see you tonight at dinner Feyre.” She made a hasty exit and Asterin looked at Feyre to see if she could see what she was thinking.

“You may call me Rin or Asterin,” she told her. “I go by either, though most here in Spring prefer Rin.”

Feyre turned her attention to Asterin, “Why?”

Asterin merely smiled, “Are you hungry? I could go see if the cooks have anything for lunch ready.”

Feyre saw right past her attempt at a subject change, but if Asterin wanted to keep it a secret then that was her business. “I’m not hungry much these days,” Feyre commented. “It never stays down.”

Asterin balled her hands into the fabric of the dress, “I have a recipe for some soup that should help soothe anything. Would you at least try it?”

Feyre eyed her and then nodded, “All right.”

She held out her hand, “Come, I’ll teach it to you.” The other female slipped her hand into Asterin’s and let herself be guided into the kitchens where the cooks were soon in a tizzy over Feyre’s appearance in their domain.

They allowed Asterin and Feyre to work and soon they were sitting at a small table in the corner of the warm kitchen sharing the soup that Asterin’s mother had taught her. Feyre hummed appreciatively and ate the whole bowl. Asterin relaxed and hoped the soup did the trick. She had a feeling she knew why Feyre couldn’t keep her food down, but hopefully, her mother’s recipe would work like a charm.

Feyre sought out Asterin the next morning, forgoing breakfast with Tamlin, Ianthe, and Lucien in the dining hall. She found Asterin sitting on one of the stone benches outside staring longingly at the sky. “Thank you,” she said, catching the other female’s attention.

“For what?” Asterin cocked her head to the side and studied Feyre. She still had dark circles under her eyes, but she didn’t seem as haunted as she had yesterday.

“The soup, it helped,” Feyre responded. “So thank you.”

Asterin smiled, “Of course, I’m happy to be of service. If you’d like I can make some for you today as well.”

“That would be wonderful,” Feyre’s voice full of relief.

Asterin patted the space beside her on the stone bench, “Come sit with me for a while.” And Feyre did, the two of them staying on the bench for several hours just observing the world around them.


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s demeaning for you to work in the gardens as the next Lady of Spring,” Tamlin sniffed as he and Feyre argued. It had been a few days since she and Asterin had started spending more time together, and she had asked Asterin if she would like some company tending to the gardens. “You should spend your time doing other things.”

“Like what?” Feyre spat, her anger boiling beneath the surface. “Sitting around and gossiping with the women here? Painting?” Asterin eyed her new friend when she said painting, she had heard rumors that Feyre had been a wonderful artist, but she hadn’t been working on her paintings as of late. The trauma she had faced Under the Mountain had put a stop to that at the moment. “There’s nothing wrong with me going into the gardens and tending to the plants.”

Lucien stepped forward and cleared his throat, “I agree with Feyre, Tam. There’s nothing wrong with it, plus she will be overseeing their care soon enough. This will give her a good chance to become acquainted with them. Rin will help guide her and make sure Feyre knows the gardens inside and out when they’re finished.”

Tamlin turned his harsh gaze on Asterin who had stood back and let the fight progress. It was cowardly to hide and not want to be put on display when he was angry, but she didn’t know what he would do to her if she spoke up. Feyre was her only connection to the Night Court currently and she wasn’t going to jeopardize her position by angering the man who could lock her away again. “Not one scratch or broken nail,” he snarled at her. “Am I understood?”

“Yes, High Lord,” Asterin responded, biting out the words.

With that, Tamlin and Lucien left the two women alone and Feyre motioned for Asterin to follow her out into the gardens. “My sister would love this place,” Feyre told her. “She gardens at our… their home.” Asterin could tell it was still hard for Feyre to consider herself Fae. She was still newly Made and it would take some time for her former life to slip away from her.

“I’m sure her garden is lovely,” Asterin offered Feyre a smile.

Feyre gazed out over the sea of plants and said, “Not as lovely as this, but I’m sure if she were given the opportunity she could outdo any garden here in Spring.”

A question burned on Asterin’s tongue and before she could overthink it she blurted out, “Do you miss your human life?”

Feyre’s hand brushed against the petals of a soft pink rose, “I didn’t really fit in with the humans, and here I’m seen as a savior.” Her lip curled, “I’m no savior.”

“You are a hero though,” Asterin stepped up and placed a hand on Feyre’s shoulder. “I know it cost you something when you went Under the Mountain. But if you hadn’t done what you did then this place and the human world would have been at risk from Hybern. Try not to blame yourself for the impossible decisions that were placed in front of you or what you chose to do. Life is cruel, but you did what had to be done in order to protect others.”

Feyre looked at her then, her eyes bright with unshed tears, “I just wish I could change the way all of it happened.”

Asterin produced a handkerchief and handed it to Feyre, “When I was around nineteen my mother and I were on the road to visit my brother. An enemy came out of nowhere and attacked us. My mother begged me to flee, but I froze. I watched as they killed her, I could have done something. I could have protected her, but I didn’t.” She picked a few flowers and wove them into Feyre’s braid. “My hands are stained with my mother’s blood because I was a coward and didn’t fight. This is a choice I had to learn to live with. Wishing you could go back and change something isn’t going to help. You just have to accept things that were out of your control and move forward with your life.”

Feyre considered her words and asked, “Will you tell me about her?”

“My mother?” Feyre nodded. “In all honesty, it’s been a long time since I’ve thought of her. Sometimes her image is fuzzy in my mind, other times it’s as if she’s standing right before me. People used to say I looked like her,” Asterin smiled. “My cousin was jealous of how long and thick my hair was because she said it reminded her of my mother’s.” Images of flying with her mother filled her mind and she bit her lip trying to decide if the risk was worth it. “She had wings and we would soar through the sky together,” she decided the risk was worth it. “I miss those nights the most.”

“Was she Peregryn?” It was a simple question and it made sense. Unlike the Illyrians which she was descended from, the Peregryns had feathery, white wings instead of those that resembled a bat.

“No Illyrian,” Asterin admitted. “They hail from the Night Court.”

Feyre fell silent as she looked at Asterin in this new light, “I see.” Asterin knew that she was thinking about her brother and how the Night Court was something to be feared. She then surprised Asterin by asking, “Where are your wings then?”

“Gone,” it was exactly a lie. She couldn’t summon them, not with her abilities as weak as they were now. “They’re gone.” Her voice was raw and she felt a burning in her eyes as she fought off the urge to cry.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried,” Feyre seemed genuinely sorry for having brought the topic up.

Asterin shrugged and bent to pull a weed she spotted, “It’s all right. It’s good to talk about it sometimes, but I would appreciate you not telling anyone else. My wings are a carefully guarded secret and I don’t need others asking about them.”

Feyre agreed not to speak about her wings and the two made their way deeper into the garden.

It was the night before her wedding and Feyre was in Asterin’s room. She had wanted to spend the night away from Tamlin before she was married to him for however long she had left in this plane of existence. The two of them had grown closer over the weeks leading up to this moment, and Asterin could already see some color and life coming back to Feyre though she still had a long way to go.

Asterin was gently brushing out Feyre’s hair, the other woman staring at the tattoo on her arm. “Why hasn’t he called in his bargain with me yet?” Feyre wasn’t sure why he even made the bargain with her if he wasn’t going to call it in. It seemed like a wasted opportunity to her.

Asterin paused and then resumed brushing Feyre’s hair, “I would have thought that you would be happy that he hasn’t called it in yet.” Her words whenever the subject of the Night Court came up were careful and deliberate. She knew what would happen if she spoke about it, what Tamlin would do.

“I am, but I’m also worried about what he’s going to do,” she said, twisting slightly to look at her new friend. “You look like him, you know.”

She laughed nervously, “I don’t know how.” She slightly begged the Mother to let the subject drop and let Feyre’s comment just be something she made it passing rather than in actual curiosity about who her familial relations were.

However, she was disappointed to find that Feyre truly wanted to know the truth.

Feyre gripped her wrists tightly, “Ren, how did you come to be a servant here?”

Asterin gulped, the room suddenly seeming so much smaller, “I-I don’t know why you want to know this. Please let’s not talk about it.”

“Asterin,” it was the first time she had said her full name. “You’re from the Night Court aren’t you?”

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t ask questions. If… if Tamlin even knew we were talking about it he would--”

“He would what?” Feyre pressed.

“I need to see them one last time,” she whispered desperately, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “I need to know they’re okay. Please don’t say anything to Tamlin.”

Feyre must have seen the desperation on Asterin’s face because she released her wrists and turned back around. “What do you think is in store for me after the wedding?”

Relaxing back into her task Asterin continued to brush Feyre’s hair as they talked about trivial things. The topic of the Night Court or her past never came up again and she was thankful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to be slower to update than my other one Famously In Love. But I hope you're enjoying it so far!


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning everything was prepared and Feyre was placed into the monstrosity of a wedding gown, her hair curled and pinned to an exorbitant amount. “You look ridiculous,” Asterin muttered quietly as she placed yet another pin into Feyre’s hair. Their eyes flickering to Ianthe who had wanted to be there to see Feyre in her wedding gown.

“I know,” she whispered back. “This isn’t even the wedding gown I would have picked for myself.”

Asterin  _ tsked,  _ “There’s no accounting for taste.” The two of them giggled, earning a curious look from Ianthe, but neither of them cared if Ianthe knew what they thought of the monstrosity of a dress she had put Feyre in.

Ianthe had swept into the room all fake smiles and warmth, beaming at Feyre and complimenting her on how radiant she had looked. Asterin knew that Ianthe was power-hungry and secretly wished that today was her wedding instead of Feyre’s. Asterin wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Ianthe tried to poison her before the evening was over with. “Feyre, you do look stunning, I don’t think Tamlin is going to be able to keep his eyes - or hands - off of you tonight.”

Asterin and Feyre shared a look before Feyre turned to Ianthe and began talking about the preparations. Asterin took this moment to slip out of the room and into the garden where the guests were mingling and talking amongst themselves. The red petals along the aisle made her pause. She knew Feyre hated the color, knew what distress it caused her. She went to turn and warn her friend, but it was too late.

The music began and the rest of the guests were ushered into their seats, including her. Asterin waited nervously waiting to see Feyre’s reaction to the petals and when Feyre emerged it was just as she had expected. Feyre’s steps slowed and her gaze was cast to the ground, eyes locked on those simple red petals. Asterin briefly wondered if Ianthe had done this on purpose, she had been there when Feyre had requested no red. A simple thing that could ruin the entire mood of the wedding. Asterin should have known something was bound to go wrong.

Ianthe spoke, but Asterin didn’t hear what the priestess had to say. All her focus was on Feyre who seemed to be struggling to breathe. Then when she thought it couldn’t get any worse Rhys appeared and the crowd lost it. They scrambled over themselves to get away, but Asterin was frozen in place just staring at her brother. He was here.

All the sounds of the people running in terror drowned out by the rushing in her ears. Her brother was here. He was so close.

She longed to scream out for him, to tell him she was here, but she slowly began backing away. Feyre needed her here, for now, she would remain hidden. Her heart broke and as she made it to the end of the aisle her brother turned his head slightly. He caught sight of her out of the corner of his eyes and froze, but she shook her head ever so slightly to tell him not to do anything. Willing him to understand that this is where she needed to be.

He acted as if he hadn’t noticed her and she slipped inside the manor and collapsed on the floor and almost retched onto the carpet. There was a hand on her back and she was picked up and taken into another more private room for the servants. She saw Alis standing there, a stern but worried look on her face. “Why?” The older woman asked.

“I’m needed here,” she whispered. “Feyre still needs me. He’ll be back eventually, he made a deal with her and he’ll continue to call it in. I have to make sure she doesn’t suffer as I have.”

“You could have gone home,” she hissed.

Asterin let out a humorless chuckle, “Don’t remind me.” She moved to grab the door handle, “I’m going to hide somewhere. Tamlin is going to be raging mad and I don’t want him to take it out on me.”

She stepped out of the room and was halfway to her room and someone slammed her into a wall. Crying out in pain she looked up to see Tamlin glaring at her, “Did you know?!”

“Tamlin, stop!” Lucien cried as he pulled his friend away from her. She slid down the wall, shaking from the rush of adrenaline and fear. “She’s been here, if Rhysand knew she was still alive he would have torn this place apart to get her back. You know how he is, especially after what happened.”

Tamlin was still glaring at her in a way that made her skin crawl, “If anything happens to her while she’s there I will truly send your head to your brother this time.” Then he stalked away, Lucien giving her an apologetic look before hurrying to catch up with the High Lord.

It took her poor heart twenty minutes to finally stop racing.

The week passed and Asterin flew under the radar. She didn’t want to do anything to further upset Tamlin, and then Feyre returned. She ignored Asterin for the first few days after her arrival and she wondered if Rhys had said anything. Would he risk putting her in danger to bring it up to Feyre?

On the third day, Feyre came to her, “He asked me to give you this.” In her hand was a scrap of paper.

With shaky fingers, Asterin took the paper and unrolled it, “ _ Asterin, please tell me that wasn’t a trick. Please tell me it was you. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you. Tell me you’re safe.” _

“Come with me,” Asterin grabbed Feyre’s hand and dragged her back to her room. She dug through her drawers until she found ink and on the back of the paper she wrote:

_ Rhys, it’s me. I’m alive. Please don’t tell the others yet. I don’t know if I’ll make it out alive. I need to be here for Feyre, and make sure she’s safe. I will try to make it home to you and the others, I promise. _

The note disappeared and she could have sobbed with relief. He knew. He knew and he was waiting. “Tell me the truth, Rin.” Feyre was frowning, “Are you his sister?”

“I am,” she whispered. Her truth finally free at last. “He thought I was dead…. I’ve been trapped here for so long. And I know you don’t trust him and I’m not asking you to. But please help me get back home.”

“Why didn’t you go when he came? You could have left then,” she pointed out. 

“Because you need me more,” she admitted. “You needed a friend and not Ianthe and not Lucien or Tamlin. I see you, Feyre. How sickly you are. No one seems to care here save for Alis and myself. I’ll only go home when I know you’re okay.”

Feyre considered her words, “I won’t say anything.” 

Asterin sagged with relief, “I’ve been holding onto this secret for so long. Forbidden to talk about it to anyone. Tamlin fears retribution from my brother.” Which would have been deserved, she thought to herself but didn’t dare voice to Feyre. “I can control his anger at the Spring Court, but when you feel that you no longer need me here I’ll return home, but just know you’ll always have me. I won’t stop being your friend.”

Feyre pulled Asterin in for a hug, “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.”

Asterin squeezed Feyre back, “It could be worse, I’m a survivor and so are you. We’ll make it through this together.”

Feyre left shortly after that and Asterin stayed in her room getting ready for bed when another slip of paper appeared before her on her dresser. She picked it up knowing who it was from.

_ Tell me how. _

Asterin knew that it would be hard for her brother to believe that she was actually alive. They had sent ahead to him, had made it so believable that she had died. They had to or he would have come looking for her.

_ I hid my wings, Mother told me to go, but I couldn’t leave her. I think one of the brothers was going to take me as a bride. I wasn’t sure. I was sent to a temple somewhere within the Spring Court and I stayed there for several centuries. I know what you did to Tamlin’s family. And I know about Amarantha. I only came to live at the manor after Amarantha’s reign ended. _

The paper disappeared and she waited. Holding onto this little bit of communication she had with her brother. Tears ran down her cheeks. He was miles away, but at least he no longer thought she was dead.

_ I’ll kill him. I’ll tear that whole damn court down. _

_ No! I need Feyre to trust you, Rhys. If you take your revenge she’ll think of you as everyone else does. Please just wait, bide your time. Think and plan. Don’t rush into this hastily. _

_ Rin, I need to confess something. Feyre… she’s my mate. _

Asterin choked on air. That was the last thing she had expected him to say.

_ I take it she doesn’t know. _

_ No, not yet. Maybe not ever. She’s with Tamlin and I’m not going to force this bond on her. _

_ She doesn’t belong here. She’s not like the nobles here. She belongs with us. And I’ll keep her safe. I’ll protect her with my life. _

_ I love you, Rin. I’ll write soon. And don’t worry I haven’t told the others yet. I kind of want to see how they’ll react when they see you again. _

She chuckled.  _ Me too. I love you, brother. Write to me soon. _

The note disappeared and another one never came back. She crawled into bed and for the first time in centuries, Asterin got a decent night’s sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Asterin went to tend to Feyre as she always did. When she arrived Feyre was nursing a bruise. Asterin stiffened at the sight of it and wondered where it had come from. “Did something happen?” The question was out before she could stop it.

Feyre turned and saw Asterin staring at the new bruise, “Tamlin got a little upset last night. His powers were a little out of control. I was caught in the crossfire.”

The words “she’s my brother’s mate” rang through Asterin’s head as she stared at the bruise on Feyre’s body. She wanted to go find Tamlin and tear him to shreds and bruise his body to see how it felt, but she reined in that anger she felt and said, “I’ll be back in a moment, I have something that should help.”

Asterin hurried to one of the supply rooms and found her secret stash of salves she had one of the traders smuggle in for her. She was Illyrian and she had practically forced her brother to teach her how to fight, how to defend herself like a true Illyrian. She could still remember the soreness of her muscles, and the bruises she had sported.

_ Rhysand was standing above his sister, she was on her back glowering at him. He smirked, “You told me not to go easy on you.” _

_ He offered her his hand, but she smacked it away and pushed herself to her feet. They were on the top of the House of Wind practicing before Rhysand had to go back to the Illyrian camps and continue his training. Asterin wanted to go with him, but the females weren’t allowed to train. Most females had their wings clipped by the time they were her age. But because she was the daughter of the High Lord she was spared from this ancient and outdated tradition. _

_ Her mother had been spared as well, but only because her father had entered the camps at the same time they were about to take her mother’s wings. He killed the men and threatened anyone who dared touch her to take them. Their mother and father weren’t right for one another, both Rhysand and Asterin had known this from an early age, but they knew their mother was grateful to him for sparing her wings so that she could fly. _

_ Someday Asterin hoped to stop the practice of clipping wings so that the females could taste the sky as she could. And so that they could train as well if they so choose to. Rhysand had spoken of doing this when he became High Lord. Both he and Asterin knew that he would be the one the power passed to when their father passed and, to be honest, Asterin was fine with that. She didn’t want to become Prythian’s first High Lady. She wanted to live free and spend her days as she chose to. _

_ “Wipe that damn smirk off of your face Rhys, or Mother help you I’ll wipe it off myself,” she seethed. _

_ Rhysand cocked his head to the side to study his sister, “Don’t seem so down, Rin. Mother and you are coming to the war camps this coming week to see me. You can show all those Illyrian bastards how you handle yourself with a blade.” _

_ Asterin had to admit that she was looking forward to coming to the camps with her mother. Normally she was left at home when their mother would go with Rhys to her former homeland. This time, however, she was going to join them. “We shall see if they even let me anywhere near one of those training rings.” _

_ “Cass and Az will put up a fight with me if they don’t. They can’t disobey us, not when I’m going to be in charge of the Night Court someday,” Rhysand said. “Now come on, let’s continue.” _

Asterin entered Feyre’s room once more and sat beside her friend so that she could work on the dark purple bruises. “This should help with the soreness and make them heal quicker,” she explained. “Illyrian’s use it when they train. They come home with all kinds of bumps and bruises. You should have seen my bro--” she clamped her mouth shut as she realized that maybe she shouldn’t speak about Rhysand in front of Feyre for the time being.

Feyre glanced at Asterin and saw how her friend had suddenly begun busying herself with the task of patching up her bruises, “You can speak about him if that’s what you want.”

Asterin’s hand paused what it was doing and she let out a breath, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know my brother isn’t your favorite person in the world.”

“He’s still your brother though, and you deserve to talk about him without fear,” Feyre’s voice was quiet. Both of them afraid of someone overhearing their conversation.

Asternin still hesitated to speak about her brother but continued her story, “He would come home covered in bruises. Training is tough but effective. Females aren’t allowed to train, in fact, they clip their wings, a practice my brother said he would try to stop when he became High Lord - an impossible task if you ask me but if anyone can do it then it will be Rhys. He trained me though, after I begged and begged and begged. After we were done he brought these salves and would put them on my wounds and they would help heal me faster.”

“He seems so intimidating and awful,” Feyre said. “It’s hard to imagine him as caring.”

Asterin’s hand stilled for a moment, wondering what else she should say about Rhysand. “The Night Court has always been scary to outsiders, and while I will admit there are places within its borders that I dare not go there is beauty there that many do not get the honor of seeing.”

“Are you saying that Rhys may show me this beauty?” Feyre questioned.

Asterin finished putting the salve on and wiped it from her fingers, “He may if he starts to trust you more.”

The door banged open and both women jumped and turned to see Ianthe standing there with a forced smile upon her face, “What are you two doing in here?”

“I had some wounds that Rin was tending to,” Feyre said quickly. “We were just finishing up. Come along Rin, I want to explore more of the gardens today.” Feyre stood and moved for the door and as Asterin went to follow her out Ianthe grabbed her arm.

“You better not be planting false ideas in Feyre’s mind, Rin. I would so hate to have to tell the High Lord that something is amiss here,” Ianthe hissed.

“No Priestess, I wouldn’t dream of going against the High Lord. I am merely trying to assist Lady Feyre in her day to day tasks,” Asterin said through her own fake smile. Ianthe eyed her but released her arm. “Is there anything else I can help you with, Priestess?”

“No, continue your chores for the day,” she said dismissively.

Feyre had stopped at the end of the hall and as soon as Asterin caught up she looped her arm through hers and didn’t look back.

The time came for Rhysand to come back for Feyre. Asterin stayed away, but he wrote to her nearly every day. Asking her how she was doing and if she needed him to come get her. He would drop everything to get her back if she gave the word. She assured her brother that everything was okay, that she was still needed at the Spring Court.

Tamlin avoided her as much as he could and even Ianthe kept a wide berth. That suited Asterin just fine. She didn’t want to see either one of them. Tamlin would be volatile in the days after Feyre had been taken away, but he never blamed Asterin again. She wondered if Lucien had something to do with that.

Asterin couldn’t get a read on what Lucien was like. She knew the rumors that he was cunning like the fox mask he had worn for those nearly fifty years. If he was the one keeping Tamlin away from her then she was glad for it. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as she thought he was.

When Feyre returned she didn’t avoid Asterin. They talked and Feyre told her about all the things Rhys had her doing.

“I can help you continue your studies,” Asterin offered. “Maybe we can surprise Rhys with how far you’ve come in the next visit.”

So when they weren’t tending to the gardens together they were in the library with Asterin teaching Feyre how to read and write. If her brother knew what they were up to he didn’t let on in the notes he would send in that time. At one point Feyre got annoyed and grabbed the pen and paper and wrote:  _ Leave us alone you ass. She’s trying to teach me how to read and write ~ Feyre _

No more notes came after that and Asterin snickered. She wanted to know what the look on Rhysand’s face had been when he saw the note Feyre had quickly jotted down.

Then came the tithe. The time of year Asterin hated the most. She saw how much the denizens of the Spring Court suffered to bring forth items that would be enough to cover their tithe. Tamlin was relentless when it came to the payments.

Asterin stood to the side near where Feyre was seated up on the dais with Tamlin. She watched the proceeds trying to mask her disgust. Rhysand didn’t demand a tithe. The citizens had taxes, but nothing as outlandish as this. Peaking at Feyre, Asterin saw that even her friend seemed put off by the whole thing. Good, just another thing to prove how horrible Tamlin really was. That he wasn’t who Feyre thought him to be.

Before the tithe was over a water wraith couldn’t pay her portion of the tithe. When Tamlin refused to help in any way, Feyre went chasing after the wraith. Asterin watched Tamlin’s face contort with anger and annoyance at the show of compassion from his bride. Asterin wanted to smirk because any annoyance to Tamlin was a win in her book, but she knew that this would not end well for Feyre.

He could possibly hurt her.

And that was what worried Asterin the most.

The tithe came to an end and she filed out with the rest of the servants and citizens in the room. “Rin, wait for a moment,” at the sound of Tamlin’s voice she froze. “Come here.”

Asterin listened, but her footsteps felt heavy and slow. She wondered what Tamlin could possibly want with her. “Yes, High Lord?”

“Ianthe tells me that you were tending to some of Feyre’s bruises the other day, is that correct?”

“Yes High Lord,” Asterin responded, her heart pounding in her chest, her palms growing clammy. “I didn’t want her to be in too much pain and I had some salves that help with bruises and such.”

He nodded and studied her with those unnerving green eyes, “And I also hear you’ve been teaching her how to read and write… is that correct?”

Once again she responded with, “Yes High Lord, I know that she will be your wife and that means taking on duties as the wife of a High Lord. I did not want Lady Feyre to feel overwhelmed or inferior to other ladies of the court.”  _ Please let this be over, please let this be over, please,  _ rang in her head.

“This has nothing to do with your brother does it?” His voice was low, a dangerous edge to it.

Asterin’s heart seized in her chest and she began to shake, “High Lord, I swear my brother has nothing to do with this. I like to think that Lady Feyre and I are friends--”

Tamlin barked a laugh, “Friends? With a lowly half-breed like yourself.”

Asterin was beginning to see red, but she knew that this is what he wanted. He wanted to rile her up. He had done it when she first came as punishment for what her brother and father had done to his family. She had been quick to anger back then, and he knew this. He would scream at her about her insubordination and beat her within an inch of her life. Only one of the priestesses ever helped her after his anger had cooled and he left her bleeding on the floor of the temple. “I’m sorry, High Lord. I did not mean offense, I just value Lady Feyre is all I was meaning to say. I know she is very important to you, this court, and all of Prythian.”  _ Stay alive,  _ her father had told her. She would have targets on her back being the daughter of a High Lord and a female at that.  _ You must outsmart your opponent and stay alive. Even when you have one hand tied behind your back. Do you understand, Asterin?  _ She could still hear his voice in her head. “I just don’t want to add any more stress upon you, High Lord.”

He tapped a finger against his throne and then said, “Fine. You may go, Rin. But remember that your life hangs in the balance here. One day I will tire of you and not even Feyre will be able to save you.”

She bowed and slowly made her way out of the room. She headed into the gardens and found a secret section of them to cry until she had released all her pent up emotions.


	5. Chapter 5

Knowing that his sister was alive brought comfort to Rhysand. Knowing that she was with his mate brought some ease to his mind. He wanted to tell the others to bring them the same hope and feelings he had felt when he had first laid eyes on his sister, but he would respect her wishes. If she didn’t want them to know then it would remain that way.

He wasn’t sure if the others would believe him or not. Asterin’s death had been taken hard by all of them, and they may not want to accept that she was still alive for fear of disappointment.

There had been times over the centuries when Azriel had suggested that Asterin was still alive. He said he would know if she were dead, the others didn’t believe him. Didn’t want to believe for fear of being let down when it was proven that she was still in fact dead.

Now here Rhysand sat writing letters to said sister talking to her as if there was nothing wrong. He was waiting for a response back from her and when the sheet of paper came back he blinked at the response and then began laughing uncontrollably. “Well played, Feyre darling, well played,” was his only response to the little note he had received.

He carefully placed the note in his desk drawer for safekeeping and for a rainy day when he wanted some kind of connection to his mate.

The days following the tithe were some of the most paranoid that Asterin had been since the tithe. Even Feyre had been looking a little worse for wear when she and Asterin were together. Neither of them spoke much to one another, they preferred to just keep lost in their own thoughts. Even when Rhysand would write to her, Asterin was quiet. He didn’t press her on the issue which she was thankful for. If he knew the truth he might just come to the Spring Court and tear Tamlin to pieces himself.

Ianthe seemed to have it out for her more than usual, making sure there were extra chores for her to do, even Tamlin seemed to be keeping a closer eye on her. She wondered if someone had overheard one of her and Feyre’s conversations and knew that she was planning on leaving at some point. If Tamlin and Ianthe were both just waiting for her to slip up and reveal her true plans, or let on that her brother really knew that she was still alive.

Asterin was coming back from the kitchens with lunch for her and Feyre when she heard arguing. Curious she wandered closer to see that it was Feyre and Tamlin together. Lucien was standing back watching them, discomfort written all over his face. “Let me go and help you,” Feyre was saying, or more like begging. “Let me be useful.”

“You’ve done enough,” Tamlin told her, his voice calm, but he almost sounded as if he were exasperated with a child that wasn’t getting their way. “You deserve to rest and be pampered here in the Spring Court.” His eyes flickered over Feyre’s shoulder to where Asterin was standing, frozen to her spot, a tray of food clutched tightly in her hands. “See, Asterin has brought you a nice lunch. Share it with her and relax, don’t worry about what is happening outside of this manor.”

He turned and headed for the doors. Lucien saw the devastated look on Feyre’s face and then his gaze fell upon Asterin and for a moment a look of understanding passed between them. And that was when she felt the magic that had been dampening her powers shift away from her. “Go,” he mouthed. “Take Feyre and go.”

Then he and Tamlin were gone, off to wherever they were needed within the court. Asterin couldn’t quite believe what Lucien had just done. What had possessed him to go against his best friend and not to mention High Lord? He would catch hell for that if Tamlin were to figure out that he was the one that released Asterin from her chains. 

Her thoughts were cut off when Feyre crumpled to the floor. She was beside her friend in a heartbeat. No longer could either of them stay there. If Feyre spent another second inside the Spring Court she would waste away to nothing, and Asterin wasn’t about to let that happened. She needed to be with Rhysand in the Night Court, a place where she could heal and grow and not be smothered. “We’re leaving,” she announced. 

Feyre looked up at her with a confused expression. “But we’re trapped here,” she said. “He locked me in.”

Asterin narrowed her eyes and looked at the doors, the magic around the manor shattering with a single thought from her. She was a little rusty, but she was still powerful like her brother. “Lucien set me free,” she said. Her wings flared out, stretching and shifting for the first time in centuries. 

Relief surged through Asterin. No longer was she trapped, no longer was she a prisoner of Spring. One day she would make this court pay, the High Lord would taste the steel of her blade and those damn roses would be razed. But for now, she had one thing on her mind.

Home.

She was going home.

_ Rin?  _

Rhysand’s voice was in her mind, whatever magic keeping him out before disappearing along with everything else that had held her here. 

_ I’m coming home, brother,  _ was her first response.  _ Meet me in Summer. _

She needed to make it to the Summer Court, she knew she wasn’t strong enough to winnow any further than that. Shattering the wards was one thing, but carrying herself and Feyre over that great of a distance would kill her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement and turned to see Alis standing there. “Finally going home, girl?”

“I am,” she responded.

“That two of you take care and look out for one another,” Alis said. “We’re counting on you.”

Asterin bowed her head to the older faerie and then together she and Feyre winnowed away. Tamlin was going to be raging mad when he learned the truth about what happened that day. They would face retribution, but Asterin would be ready. She would be waiting.

Their landing in the Summer Court could have been more graceful, but Asterin stumbled straight into her brother’s waiting arms. And suddenly all felt right in the world, she was free.

She and Feyre were free.

Brother and sister embraced, holding on for dear life. She was home.

“As much as I would love to have a tearstained reunion here, Rin, we need to go before Tamlin realizes what’s been done,” Rhysand said as he continued to hold onto his sister.

She nodded and turned to Feyre who was watching them closely. Holding her hand out to her she said, “Come. We’re going home.”

Feyre didn’t hesitate to put her hand in Asterin’s and together they were whisked across the world to the Night Court. And not just anywhere. Velaris. Asterin felt herself begin to vibrate with excitement as she heard the familiar sounds around her. Feyre was curiously inspecting the townhome that belonged to her brother. 

Rhys began to speak but Asterin paid no attention to what he was telling Feyre. She was too busy trying to look out the window and see beyond to the city she had dreamed of. She could already smell the sea and citrus. Heard the children playing. It was just as she remembered it and in the distance she saw two winged figures flying their way.

Azriel and Cassian. 

Quickly she backed away from the window so that they wouldn’t see her. Rhysand had promised none of them would know she was still alive until she returned home. He must have called for them. When Asterin joined her brother once more she learned that Feyre had opted out of meeting their friends. She was halfway up the stairs when Cassian began pounding on the door. Asterin hid behind her brother’s back, grinning. She couldn’t wait to see their reactions, to hear their voices again.

The door opened and she heard Cassian say, “What the hell took you so long to open the damn door?” Asterin couldn’t help it; she chuckled and then heard the sharp intakes of breath from both men. “That’s not funny, Rhys,” there was a crack in Cassian’s voice. “Not funny at all.”

Asterin peeked out from behind her brother and waved at Cassian who had become frozen to the spot, “Hello Cass.”

There was no hesitation as Cassian came barreling toward her, lifted her into his arms, and spun her around. “By the Mother, is it really you?”

“It’s me, Cass,” she said as she clung to him. He was bigger than the last time she had seen him, his form had filled out more and his hair was longer. “I missed you too.”

“Move you, brute!” She heard her cousin Mor say. “I want to see her!”

She was being passed off in another hug, this one more delicate than Cassian’s tight grasp, but still clinging to her for dear life. “I missed you so much,” Mor said before finally releasing her from the death grip she had held on her cousin. 

Asterin looked at the last person she was familiar with. Rhysand told her the other female was Amren, the latest addition to his Inner Court. But Asterin currently only had eyes for Azriel. He stood before her, his body unmoving as if he were a statue. “Az,” her voice came out breathy and filled with so much emotion. Her Azriel.

_ Mate mate mate.  _

The word played on a loop in her head. She hadn’t told a single soul what she suspected, what she knew deep inside her. She could feel the bond between them, weak since Azriel had no idea - or at least she thought he had no idea.

She had thought of bringing it up before her capture. Of finally telling him what she had suspected. She knew that he had harbored feelings for Mor and he wasn’t sure if it was still the same now. If he could ever love her or come to think of her as his mate. She had dreamed of hearing the word come from his mouth, of him announcing what she already knew. 

Azriel was the kindest male she knew and she was overjoyed that he was her mate. That the cauldron had blessed her with someone as gentle and sweet as he. Her heart beat painfully in her chest now as she stared at him. As she finally beheld him after so long. Still as handsome as ever. 

And yet not wholly hers.

She thought of the days when they would dance together on the Rainbow, how softly he would hold her in his arms. How warm he had been. Of how he smelled, the scent of him intoxicating and maddening. She could get drunk off of only him. 

He moved then and scooped her into his arms, she nearly sobbed feeling him against her again. Thought of how right it felt to have him holding her. “Rin,” his voice was equally as soft and shaky as hers had been. He pulled away, holding her a little ways away from him and she already missed his warmth. “Where… how?”

“A discussion for another time,” Rhysand said. “For now I’m sure my sister would like to be left alone to sleep and rest.”

“Actually,” she said, glancing away from Azriel - though it took all her willpower - to her brother. “I want to see the Rainbow. I want to see my home. It’s been so long since I last walked down these streets or flew through the skies that I want to experience it.”

“I can take her,” Azriel spoke up, surprising her. “I’m sure you’d like to stay here and watch over Feyre in case she needs something.”

“We can all go,” Mor spoke.

Rhysand cocked his head to the side and said, “No, let Az and Rin go on their own. Let’s not overwhelm her or the citizens with all our presences.” She could have kissed her brother.

Azriel offered Asterin his arms, “Shall we?”

She rested her hand on the crook of his arm and allowed him to escort her from the townhome. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas if you celebrate it! Happy Holidays! And I hope you all have a happy New Year!


	6. Chapter 6

The night air was crisp as Azriel and Asterin stepped out of the townhome and onto the street beyond. Above her the stars seemed to shine brighter as if they were welcoming her home, they called to her, beckoning her to come closer, to take to the skies and sore amongst them. She wished she could, but she would need to train on how to fly again. It had been so long she was afraid of messing up.

Azriel was watching her out of the corner of his eye wondering what was going on in her mind. Their hands would brush against one another occasionally and there was a spark there that he hadn’t felt in so long. He felt like he could breathe again in her presence. The raging sea that had been inside him since he had thought she had died. She had always been a calming presence for him, a safe haven when life became too much. She was his light.

“Care to share what you're thinking?” He asked as they slowly came into view of the Velaris. Her eyes had widened with excitement and her smile was growing wider with every passing second. She hadn’t seen this sight in years, she was finally home and with him.

She let her gaze fall on him, her eyes almost the exact color of Rhysand’s. “I was thinking about flying,” she admitted. “I hid my wings while I was there. I didn’t want them to take them from me. The thought of losing them, of losing the ability to sore in the sky again, cut through me like a knife. But since it’s been so long I don’t know how well I will do, I’ll need to cover the basics, get a feel for flying before attempting it. It’s going to be hard, the sky has been calling to me for centuries.”

He couldn’t imagine what it was like for her not to be able to fly, to not be able to do one of the basic things that her instincts were crying out for her to do. “I can help you learn,” he offered. “I’m sure you’ll pick it up quickly.”

She hummed softly, she had turned back to stare at her surroundings. Some of the fae pointed at her, whispering if it was truly who they thought it was or some reincarnation of their lost lady. She went to respond when she heard the sweet sounds of music floating through the streets. Her pace quickened, “Come on, Az!” She took his hand and practically dragged him through the streets.

They came to the corner where the musicians tended to play their songs. Some people had already gathered, dancing or enjoying the music. Azriel remembered when that was them. Sneaking out late at night to dance amongst the others. Rhysand knew, of course. He always seemed to know when his sister snuck out. He was the one that had tasked Azriel with making sure she didn’t get into too much trouble.

“Would you like to dance?” He held out a scarred hand to her and watched the emotions flit across her face.

Gently she slipped her hand into his and let him sweep her into his arms. He held her so carefully as if he were afraid he would break her, but she was not afraid. Azriel would never hurt her, she trusted him. She squeezed his hand to let him know he didn’t need to be so tense with her and slowly he relaxed and led her in a dance. Her gown flowing and twirling around her feet. She was still in the Spring Court gown, but right now that was the last thing on her mind. She was too busy savoring every moment of their dance as if it would be her last time with him. She had already taken them for granted once, she would not make that mistake again.

They danced for what felt like hours before he decided she should return to the townhome. Her eyes were beginning to feel heavy and Azriel felt himself holding her up more and more. When they returned back to Rhysand’s home he was waiting for them to arrive and Azriel passed her from his arms to her brother’s. “Goodnight, Rin,” he said before he vanished from sight.

“Have a good night, sister dear?” Rhysand said, his tone teasing.

She lightly shoved him, “Shut up.”

He chuckled and helped her up the stairs to her room. Feyre peeked out of her door and watched him help his sister navigate the halls. His hushed words telling her all the things he had planned for the following day. He seemed like a completely different person. She quietly shut her door and went back to bed, and when Rhysand came back down the hall she could have sworn he stopped in front of her door for a moment, but he never knocked or said anything to her.

Someone was poking her cheek the following morning and she was going to murder whoever it was. “Rin,” a male voice said. “Wake up.” She pulled the covers up over her head and rolled away from whoever it was. She wanted to rest and she prayed to the Mother that whoever it was would leave her alone. The next thing she knew the covers were being ripped from the bed and she sat up snarling at whoever it was until she realized that it was Cassian, “She wakes!”

“Cass, I’m going to kill you!” She shouted as she lunged for him, but the man managed to dodge her attacks. 

“Get dressed! We’re going out!” He shouted as he made a beeline for the door.

“I refuse!” She shouted after him.

“No, you don’t! Az will be joining us!” 

She growled, of course, he would use that against her. She climbed out of bed and rifled through the drawers of clothes that were there. Rhys had sent Mor out to get some for her the previous evening so that she would not be stuck wearing the same Spring Court dress the next day. Asterin slid the familiar fabrics and patterns onto her body and studied herself in the mirror. This was the Asterin she remembered, this is who she truly was.

She no longer felt like a prisoner of Spring, but the daughter of the former High Lord. The dark blue silk pants felt freer than the skirts, and the crop top showed off several tattoos that had been hidden by her dresses. Her fingers danced over the whorls and marks of her Illyrian heritage and the stars and moons that adorned her pale skin. These were not made from deals, these had been tattooed on her body by Azriel.

She had asked him to do them for her when she came of age, wanting her mate to be the one that marked her skin. They had sat quietly as he worked, she could still remember the way his fingers had brushed across her skin, how it had ignited a fire inside her. Rhys had been there as well along with Cassian and Mor. It was a right of passage for her and there was no way the others would miss it.

Sometimes Asterin wondered if her brother knew the truth about her and Azriel and she did. He had never said anything, but then again he probably wouldn’t. He was probably waiting for her to mention it, but she couldn’t utter those words. She had barely accepted them when she had learned.

No, for now, that would remain a secret.

Once she was dressed she made her way downstairs and ignored Cassian as she walked into the kitchen where Nuala was working on making breakfast. Asterin squealed and before Nuala could react threw her arms around the other female. “My hands are covered in flour!” She protested.

“I don’t care,” Asterin said with a wide smile. She held onto Nuala a bit tighter before releasing her. “It’s good to see you.”

“It was good to learn of your return home,” Nuala said, a small smile on her face. “It was not the same around here without you.” Nuala glanced over her shoulder and said, “It would appear Cassian wishes your presence. Go spend a day with your family, my sister and I shall be here when you return.”

Asterin promised to visit them again soon and headed out with Cassian, Mor, and Azriel. She had her arms looped through Cassian’s and Mor’s, Azriel was behind them. Asterin was acutely aware of Azriel’s eyes on her, on the tattoo on her side. His gaze burned and set her body alight with all kinds of feelings, his gaze made her blood sing. She wanted to turn around and look at him, but she forced her eyes to stay on the road ahead.

They went from shop to shop buying things that Asterin would need, new clothes and accessories. She bought books to read and art supplies for Feyre. She knew that her friend hadn’t been able to paint for some time, but maybe here her friend would find her inspiration again. Maybe here they would be happy again.

Mor shoved the boys away when she said they needed to get more intimate items and Cassian narrowed his eyes. “Couldn’t you do that some other time? We haven’t seen Rin in centuries, don’t monopolize her time!”

“Oh you big Illyrian baby,” Mor said as she poked him on his side. “We’ll meet you for lunch. Just go.”

Azriel and Asterin locked eyes, her cheeks heating wondering what was going through his mind. She looked back at Mor who was finished fighting with Cassian, a triumphant smirk on her face. Azriel pulled Cassian away saying that it was fine they could spend more time with Asterin later. They had time now.

None of them were going to let her disappear again.

Mor and Asterin entered the shop with the intimate items and were immediately greeted by a female attendant. Mor told her that they were merely looking and would let her know if they needed help. When they were alone Mor turned to Asterin, “How are you really doing?”

Asterin looked at her cousin startled by the sudden question, “What?”

Mor gave her a look that said she didn’t want to play this game, “Let’s not beat around the bush, Rin. You were a prisoner of the Spring Court for centuries. I know you’re happy to be back, I can see and feel the relief rolling off of you. But that relief is only part of how you’re feeling. With the boys it’s different, Rhys is probably ready to destroy the entire Spring Court and I know Az and Cass will help him without question. And while I wish to do the same, I know when someone needs to talk about things. I am giving you that choice now.”

A piece of silk caught Asterin’s gaze, it was red like those petals of the roses at the Spring Court. The same petals that gave Feyre pause at her wedding to Tamlin and led to her brother revealing the truth. She turned from that scrap of silk and looked to somewhere else in the shop searching out that familiar and comforting blue. The blue of his siphons, the color she sought out when she needed comfort the most.

“It was not easy, Mor. I never knew if the days I spent there would truly be my last. After Father and Rhys killed Tamlin’s family I thought Tamlin might kill me and send me home to my brother. I thought I would never get to see any of you alive again. I stayed in that damn temple for years, and only after Amarantha was I brought to the manor where  _ he  _ resides. I don’t know what possessed him to do it, I don’t know why, but I thank the Cauldron that he did.

“There were nights where I would stare at the sky and wished to die. My torment was never-ending and I began to lose hope that I would see the Night Court again. That I would see Velaris again. Then I thought about Rhys and how he didn’t know I was still alive. How I wanted to see him and home one more time. How I would fight and claw to get back here if it meant it was the last thing I did.” She turned to look at her cousin, tears rolling down her face, “And when the time comes I  _ will  _ kill the High Lord of Spring. I will shred him to pieces and not feel an ounce of remorse. I will make him suffer in ways that I suffered. And when he begs for death I will torture him some more.” If her fury scared Mor she didn’t let it show. “That is how I am doing, cousin. My life is my own again and I will end Tamlin one day, but I will make him fear me before that ever happens.”

Conversations floated to lighter topics after that, Asterin feeling lighter as well. That pain and hatred was still there, but having released those thoughts she had harbored for all these centuries helped her. 

She found a blue set of lingerie and bought it, Mor giving her a strange look but didn’t say anything. The attendant promised to send her purchases to the townhome later. They thanked her and headed back into the city to find the boys and share a meal together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone, I hope this year is better to you than the last.


	7. Chapter 7

Feyre had spent most of the day alone, but she would be meeting the rest of Rhys’s inner court for dinner that night. She was nervous to say the least, but she had overheard them the night before when they discovered Asterin, how thrilled and emotional they had been. She was sitting in the living room of the townhome staring out the windows watching the clouds lazily drift by. It wasn’t long before Asterin returned the group she had disappeared with this morning behind her.

Feyre didn’t listen to the exact words spoken by Asterin, but the group disappeared while she entered the home alone. She smiled at Feyre, and for a moment Feyre was jealous that Asterin was happy. That she could feel anything after all the trauma she had suffered. What made her so different that she could smile and still seem so happy?

She made a beeline for Feyre, a bag in hand, “I got something for you.” She took a seat beside her on the couch and thrust the bag toward her friend.

Feyre looked from the bag to Asterin, her hand stretching forward to gently take the object from Asterin. When she looked inside she saw art supplies, paints, brushes, a sketchbook, pencils, everything an artist would dream of having. “I-I,” she wasn’t quite sure what to say. She looked back up at Asterin and for the first time, she felt inspiration strike. She wanted to sketch her newfound friend at this moment to remember the pure happiness written all over her face.

“I know finding inspiration has been hard for you,” Asterin began. She clutched one of the decorative pillows and looked sheepishly at Feyre. “And I’m not trying to rush you into creating, but I wanted to get these for you. I’m hoping that both of us can finally be happy again and we can do the things that we enjoy again. You with your art and I with my flying.”

Feyre set the supplies aside and hugged Asterin, squeezing her so tightly she was briefly afraid that she would break her friend’s bones. “Thank you, Rin, it’s lovely,” Feyre said, her eyes squeezed shut tightly as she fought back the urge to cry.

“Of course,” Asterin pulled away, smile still intact. “Come on, I’ll help you get ready for tonight. You’ll be meeting Azriel before the others, he’ll be coming to pick me up.”

“Can’t we just winnow there?” Feyre asked.

“Oh no, the House of Wind is warded against winnowing, Rhys will fly you and him in while Azriel will fly me in.” They were in Feyre’s room and Asterin paused when she noticed the dresses that were hanging in the closet. They were the ones that her mother had sewn for Rhys’s future wife.

“Rin, is something wrong?” Feyre had noticed the way her friend had paused and grew concerned that something was wrong.

Asterin forced a smile back onto her face, “Nothing, it was nothing.” She busied herself with flipping through the dresses and seeing which would be best for a night with her family. She didn’t want anything too extravagant or elegant. But she also wanted to surprise her brother. She found one that was a midnight blue and had designs that mirrored the whorls of Rhysand’s tattoo. Asterin grinned, this one would be perfect. “Wear this,” she instructed. She passed the dress to Feyre, “Not too fancy, but perfect for tonight.”

Trusting Asterin’s judgment the two went their separate ways to prepare for dinner.

Hours later Asterin had put on a black dress that clung to her curves, but flared out around her knees. It was yet another dress that her mother had sewn for her specifically. The crystals sewn into the gown caught the candlelight perfectly and would look like the stars were winking at anyone who laid their eyes on her. There was a sharp V that went all the way to her navel and showed off her cleavage.

More daring than anything she had ever worn before, especially when she was in Spring, and she was liable to catch hell from Rhys, but she didn’t care. She wanted to see if she could get a reaction from Azriel. He was always so stoic, she wanted to see if she could ruffle his feathers a little. 

She had left her hair down, and curled it into soft waves, the only adornment was a single pin holding the hair away from her face on the right side. Her makeup was light as well. She didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard.

Underneath she was wearing that new blue silk set she had bought earlier. Not that he was gonna see it, but it was a little exciting for her, wearing his color.

There was a knock on her door and she heard Rhysand ask, “Rin, are you ready? Azriel will be here soon.”

“I’ll be down in a moment,” she responded and listened to his footsteps retreating down the steps. Asterin headed to Feyre’s room and found her putting on a pair of heels. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” she told her. “You look lovely, trying to impress someone?”

Asterin shrugged, “Maybe.”

“Will you tell me about him?” Feyre arched an eyebrow.

“After dinner,” Asterin was dying to talk to someone about Azriel and she trusted Feyre not to go spilling her secrets to just anyone. “You’re about to meet him actually.”

As if on queue the two women heard male voices coming from downstairs. Feyre and Asterin shared a look before looping their arms through the other’s and headed for the stairs. Both voices quieted when they heard the sounds of the heels on the wood floor. Asterin heard the sharp intake of breath from both her brother and Azriel, each male’s eyes on both of them respectively.

Rhysand was able to school his features quicker than Azriel was. “The two of you look lovely,” he said as he held out a hand for Feyre to take. _I know what you’re doing here, sister dear,_ he spoke into her mind.

She shot him a smirk, _Whatever do you mean, brother?_ Outloud she said, “Feyre, I would like you to meet, Azriel, or as we like to call him Az.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Azriel,” Feyre didn’t smile, but Asterin knew it was because she was nervous.

“It’s nice to finally meet you as well, Feyre. Rhys speaks highly of you,” Azriel told her. Asterin had to bury her head in his arm so that they couldn’t see her growing grin at her brother’s embarrassed look.

Rhysand cleared his throat and said, “We should really be going. We don’t want to keep the others waiting.”

He led Feyre outside and Asterin and Azriel trailed behind them. “That was mean,” she whispered to Azriel, though she couldn’t fight back the grin.

His responding chuckle had her practically melting at the sound. She wanted to hear it forever, to know that she was the one that could draw it from him. “I had to, keeps him humble,” Azriel told her.

They were in the sky now, Azriel cradling her close. Asterin tried not to act like she was trying to memorize this like she wasn’t noting how he smelt like night-chilled mist and cedar. How he smelt of home. 

They landed all too soon and were greeted by the sounds of the others that had already gathered. Rhysand motioned for Asterin to join him and he led her to an unfamiliar female, “This is Amren, my second. The two of you didn’t have a chance to meet before.” He avoided the words ‘before we thought you had died’.

The female’s silver eyes unnerved Asterin, but there was something regal about how she held herself. She felt ancient as well though she didn’t look much older than anyone in the room. “It’s a pleasure to be able to meet you, Asterin. Your brother speaks highly of you.”

“Please call me, Rin,” she corrected. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.”

“Can we eat now?” Cassian drawled from his place at the table. “Amren and Asterin can chit chat later.”

Amren glowered at Cassian but didn’t say anything as she made her way toward the table. Dinner went smoothly, Feyre getting a chance to get to know the others. She made the mistake of calling Cassian ‘Lord’ which gave everyone a good chuckle. Topics stayed light not wanting to dampen the mood of having Asterin back as well as having a new member to the court.

Asterin and Feyre were seated next to one another and when she thought Feyre was growing anxious she would reach under the table and gently take her friend’s hand in her own. Feyre never said or responded, but Asterin could almost feel the gratitude radiating off of her. 

When the meal came to a close music began playing through whatever magic that Rhysand possessed. “Care to dance?” Cassian asked Asterin as he rounded the table to where she was seated.

“I would love to, Lord Cassian,” Asterin responded, winking at Feyre to let her know that this was now going to become an inside joke between all of them.

Rhysand sat down next to Feyre and asked, “How are you holding up?”

Feyre never took her eyes off of Asterin as she laughed and danced with Cassian. “As well as can be expected,” she finally tore her eyes away from Asterin to look at Rhysand. “You all seem… like a family here.”

“Is that really so surprising?” He looked at her curiously.

“Given all that I knew as a human and then what was told to me at the Spring Court, yes it is,” she replied. “But I’m glad that it’s not true.” Rhysand nodded and didn’t say anything else, he glanced toward his sister who was now dancing with Azriel and Mor with Cassian while Amren watched and corrected them. Feyre followed his gaze and asked, “Has anything ever happened between Azriel and Rin?”

“No, though both of them want it,” he said. “You should speak with Rin if you would like to know more about the nature of their relationship. It’s something that only she can tell you.” He stood and held out his hand to her, “In the meantime, would you care to dance, Feyre darling?”

She did not hesitate as she stood and took his proffered hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will start with Feyre and Nesrin having a sleepover of sorts. I was gonna add it in this chapter, but I didn't want it to be too long and I'm already pushing 2K with this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!


	8. Chapter 8

The night came to a close and Azriel flew Asterin back to the townhome with Feyre and Rhysand close behind. He told her goodnight and then disappeared into his shadows. She wanted to ask him to stay with her for a little while longer, but she was too much of a coward to ask him that, especially in front of her brother and Feyre. She knew that if her brother knew the truth he wouldn’t tease her about it, but he didn’t as far as she knew and she’d rather keep it that way.

Rhysand disappeared almost immediately leaving Feyre and Asterin alone. “Come on,” Asterin tugged on Feyre’s hand. “Nuala showed me where Rhys hides the good wine from the others.” Feyre and Asterin giggled as they made their way to the kitchen and the pantry where at the back there was a hidden compartment where the good wine was stored for special occasions.

Asterin didn’t think Rhysand would mind… much.

Then they made their way to Feyre’s room and popped the cork and poured some glasses and settled in with the rest of the treats they had stolen from the kitchen. “What did you think of them?” Asterin asked before she took a sip of the wine.

Feyre swirled the wine in her glass and thought over her words, “They’re not what I was expecting. They’re so much more like a family. Tamlin ran things with a tight fist as you know, so seeing this was a little jarring for me.” She popped a pastry into her mouth and asked, “What is the story behind you and Azriel?”

Asterin picked at the comforter and she worked up the courage to tell Feyre the truth, “Azriel is my mate, but he doesn’t know it.”

Feyre blinked and said, “What do you mean he doesn’t know it?” Feyre may not know much about mating bonds, but with the way, Azriel looked at Asterin she was surprised to hear this.

Flopping back on the bed Asterin stared up at the ceiling and sighed, “The mating bond, he doesn’t know it’s there. Or if he does he doesn’t acknowledge it. He’s never said anything to me and to be honest I’m not surprised because he’s in love with Mor.”

“That’s not the impression I got tonight,” Feyre told her friend. “He couldn’t take his eyes off of you! The way the two of you danced, you could’ve fooled me.”

Hope blossomed in Asterin’s chest, “When we were younger I would sneak out of the House of Wind and he would come with me. I’m pretty sure Rhys had something to do with that, but we would go to the Artist corner and dance together under the stars. It was on one of those nights that I knew for certain what we were, but he never said anything and I thought he saw me as Rhys’s little sister. Now it’s been so long that I’m just trying to relearn life here in the Night Court, but by the Mother does it feel good to be near him again.”

Feyre pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, “What’s it like? Knowing you have a mate?”

“I’ve dreamed of having a mate for so long,” Asterin’s voice was hushed as she thought over her answer. “My parents were mates, but they were all wrong for one another. I hoped that I would have a love match, someone that was perfect for me. To me, Azriel is that match. I’ve been drawn to him since we were teenagers long before the bond snapped into place for me.” She looked at Feyre, “You’ll find your mate one day, Feyre. And I’ll make sure he treats you well.”

Feyre chuckled, “Thank you, Rin. And thank you for telling me about you and Azriel.”

Soon the girls were red-faced from the alcohol and giggling incessantly before passing out curled up next to one another.

Azriel flew high in the sky and landed in the artist quarter. It had been centuries before he felt like he could walk through this section of Velaris without feeling the loss of Asterin. His beautiful mate’s head in that box had haunted him for centuries. Now she was back and they had danced together under the stars as they had when they were younger.

Seeing her alive and well all his instincts had been screaming at him to go to her, to hold her close, to rip Tamlin to shreds. That word playing on a loop in his mind. His secret.

A beautiful female waltzed over to him and offered him a dance. His only reply was, “I’m sorry, I have a mate.” She merely shrugged and walked away. 

He hadn’t taken a lover in years, the others thought he had them, had taken them, but in truth he felt as though it would be a betrayal to Asterin. They had never been intimate with one another. The only truly intimate thing he had ever done was when he had brushed a kiss to her forehead one evening after dropping her off at home. He had cursed himself afterward thinking that it was too forward and she would tell Rhysand and he would throttle him. 

But it never happened. 

She never told her brother what he had done.

Hope had begun to take root inside him, and then weeks later she was gone. How he would have paid to go with Rhys and his father to slaughter the Spring Court ilk. To feel their blood coat his hands as he ripped them apart. He was practically feral with the need. So much so that he had to go into the wilderness and fight whatever wild beasts he could find there.

There was a part of him that had dreamed of her, that believed she wasn’t dead. He couldn’t let her go that easily, and something deep inside him said she was still out there. Then there she was right before his very eyes. Whole and alive.

He listened to the music surrounding him and he felt at peace. That raging sea inside him calming some knowing she was back home and safe. He was fighting every instinct to go to her and hold her. She was with Feyre though and he wasn’t going to intrude on their night together. He would just wait until morning to see her again.

Tomorrow was a new day and maybe he would ask her to do something with him.

There was a pounding in Asterin’s head when she woke the following morning. The empty bottles of wine they had smuggled out of the kitchen were scattered on the floor of Feyre’s room. Feyre was nowhere to be seen and Asterin stumbled her way into her room. The warmth of the bath helped relieve her headache along with some tea that Cerridwen had brought up for her.

After her bath, she grabbed some pastries and was about to head out the door when she nearly ran into Azriel. He had been about to knock when she pulled the door open. “Az!” She squeaked and momentarily wondered if she looked presentable enough. “Rhys isn’t here,” she assumed that he had only come to see her brother.

“I came here hoping that you would want to do something with me,” he said hesitantly. Instantly he thought that he had made a mistake, that she wouldn’t want to spend time with him.

Her breath caught and she said, “Give me a few minutes to change, and then we can do whatever you’d like.” She let him in and then rushed up the stairs towards her room.

Feyre was lingering in the living room watching Azriel and after a moment she said, “You know don’t you?”

Azriel looked over at her startled, “I beg your pardon?” He hadn’t expected her to say anything. She was still getting used to the Night Court. She had just met them the night before. What could she possibly know?

Feyre shook her head, “Nevermind. Ignore me.” Then she disappeared into the kitchen where he heard Nuala and Cerridwen saying something to her.

Asterin returned a moment later wearing more casual Night Court wear. He noted that she was wearing jewels that were the color of his siphons and some strange part of him swelled with pride. He liked seeing her in his color. “I’m ready,” she told him. “What are you planning?”

“That is for you to find out,” he held up a piece of cloth and she narrowed her eyes when she realized what it was for. “Come on, Rin. It needs to be a surprise.”

She crossed her arms, “You’re lucky I trust you, Az.”

_ Trust. _

Even after all this time he still had her trust. Out of everyone that trusted him, she was the one that it meant the most coming from. He tried not to show how her words affected him and moved behind her so that he could put on the blindfold. Tying it gently he then lifted her into his arms and took to the skies.

Asterin clung to him, her arms wrapped securely around his neck. It was a different type of torture having her be so close and not being able to kiss her as he wished. What he would give to lean forward and just brush a soft kiss against her lips. To see how she would respond to him. But he kept his gaze fixed ahead and watched as the sea grew closer. It was cold out, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t enjoy a day together.

He landed with a soft thud in the sand and he spied the smile on her face as she turned toward the water, still unseeing with the blindfold, but she knew where they were. As gently as he had tied the blindfold he undid the knot and she blinked letting her eyes adjust to the light. She breathed in the comforting scent of it all and then looked up at Azriel, that smile so bright that it made his heart stutter in his chest. 

How long had it been since he had seen that exact smile?

Too damn long. 

“I dreamed of this place,” she told him. “I dreamed that we were here walking along its shores as we did when we were younger.” Her eyes went back to the water. “Those were the best dreams I had while I was there.”

He stood closer to her, his wings shifting as a gentle breeze blew through the area. He held out a scarred hand to her. “Walk with me?”

She slipped her hand into his, twining their fingers together and setting off down the beach with her. Her scent wrapping around him like a protective blanket. And for a moment he wished that he never had to leave that moment, tha the two of them could stay there like this forever. Safe and with each other.


End file.
